16 Things That Could Only Happen On Twitter




I think I have Stockholm syndrome when it comes to Twitter.


I mean Twitter is a vile place. People aren’t nice to one another. Mobs can gang up on people or ideas and monopolize what’s trending. Any blowhard can have a Twitter, and unlike Facebook, a social media platform that their parents and bosses are on, no authority figure is present to add checks and balances to the filth that comes out of people’s mouths. 


At the same time, Twitter can be a magical place. Particularly when comedians roast celebrities and when white people see the world’s perspective through black eyes. No, not #BlackLivesMatter, you silly gringo. I’m talkin’ about Black People Twitter. It’s as close as I’ll ever get to experiencing the life of a black person in America.


Yes, despite all the rampant racism, trigger warnings, social justice warriors, and ever-changing pronouns I’m supposed to be using or potentially not using, I still go back for more.


But eh, because I keep visiting, I can keep writing these articles for you, friendly readers. It’s a win-win.











1. Ricky vs. Caitlyn.


@rickygervais how about you PUMP THE BRAKES on your @Caitlyn_Jenner insults. 




2. Black family Christmas.


@BlackPplTweet that’s why you need a token white friend. White parents are too scared of their kids to pull stunts like this.











3. How many kids?


@david8hughes that’s your wife’s not-so-subtle way of telling you she and her boss are expecting your third kid. 




4. Lawsuit


@BlackPplTweet the cops will see this as you assaulting the floor.

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